Treasured Comic Mummy reader Claire asks:
Speaking as a Brit with new Government in place, my question is “Why do we think our vote will make any difference?” Feeling cynical as VAT goes up, my pay freezes for 2 years and the cuts keep on cutting!”
Darling Claire,
Have you ever heard of a parenting philosophy known as “the illusion of choice?”
It essentially goes like this:
– you want your toddler/kid/ unreasonable ratbag to cooperate
– however, your toddler/kid/unreasonable ratbag is at a stage of asserting independence. THEY want to make the decisions. THEY want to be in control. THEY do not like being told what to do.
– SO…you simply grab the cattleprod employ a little bit of good old fashioned strategy: i.e. you offer them a choice. For example:
WRONG: “Eat your damn Cornflakes!”
RIGHT: “Would you like the Cornflakes or the Cornflakes Sultana Bran?”
WRONG: “Get in the bath, motherf****r!”
RIGHT: “What do you want to do first? Hop in the bath or meet your maker brush your teeth?”
WRONG: “You ruined my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
RIGHT: “Apple or orange?”
And so ensues a blissful period of cooperation – or so the little tike thinks!
This is where you get to rub your hands together in glee and smile wildly, yet you can’t because your lips are otherwise occupied crying: MOIAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Silly little empowerment-needy fools! Keep them feeling involved in the decision making and they will be the Oompah Loompah to your inner Willy Wonka!
To answer your question, politicians = parents. Very crappy, abusive, manipulative parents.
And seeing as we are the ones being treated as the toddlers, I say we feel fully obliged to act like them.
Now, what shall it be first: all-out tantrum or hell bent destruction?
*Image courtesy of Graphics Fairy