Portrait of a marriage: Chalk and Cheese


This pic’s for my hubby.

He’s a total chess fanatic you see. Add to this his incredible passions for theology, history and as of a coupla weeks ago, geology and well…sometimes we feel like we’re from completely different planets.

I was chatting to a very dear friend about this the other day, specifically, about how because we met so young (I was 18 when I first stalked my way into his life met him), my hubby and I have now seemingly grown into very different people.

And…I’ll be honest. There are times when this worries me. There are times when this worries him.

But seeing as we’ve got quite a lot riding on this marriage thing – aside from which I really believe that at the end of my life, if I’m still sharing a bed-pan with married to the same dude and neither of us has yet actually followed through on the occasional impulse to maim, then you know…at least something’s been successful.

But…in the grand tradition of chess, we are in need of some strategy.

So far we’ve resolved to:

a) focus on the stuff we DO have in common. Digging photography. Planning some volunteer trips with the kids. THE KIDS.

b) look at the positives. Bear in mind this is not one of those “oh but when you’re so different you’ve got so much more to talk about!” situations. I cannot for the life of me feign an interest in igneous rocks. And I have tried. But you know, I guess us being different means that we’ve got…um…other stuff to talk to other people about? Hmmm. Still working on that one…

c) try to consciously invite each other into our worlds. Case in point: Gumball Theatre. Rather than relegate the hubbster to child-minding duty during all things Gumball related, we’re committed to finding childcare elsewhere so that he is absolutely part of the whole shebang.

But you know, sometimes it really is damn hard.

How bout you? Any experiences – romantic or otherwise – with peeps you have very little in common with, that you care to share?

#differences #chess #marriage #relationships #commonalities #family

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