My chosen ones (NOT my excuses)
I’ve always tried to consciously shun the idea that there’s things you can’t do once you’ve got kids. But when I see opportunities such as this, I can’t help but think “oh man, I’d so love to do that, but I just can’t. Cos I have kids.”
My main reason for feeling crappy about that wording is that I don’t ever want to fall into the trap of resenting the kids. For blaming them for things I wanted to do but couldn’t. Which is why at times like this, I remind myself that actually, I could do that: I’m just choosing not to.
Walk with me while I work this one out, will you?
Like in this instance, I ask myself: “Could I take six months away from them and go travel the world, performing and learning about other cultures?”
Sure I could. It’d be damn hard to organise, but if I really wanted to, I could make it happen.
But I choose not to, in favour of being a present mother. Sure, there are seasons when I’m less present (mentally and/or physically!), but for most of the time, I’m choosing to be right here with the little munsters. Warts, worms and all.
So yes, I shall pass on opportunities like this, but instead of lamenting what could have been, do my freaking best – no matter how hard it might be at times – to keep my chin up and know that it’s all good.
I could do it. But I’m not gunna.
Gees, Louise, that’s not sayin’ it doesn’t still look amazing though…!