For a long time, I was so intent on keeping ‘my life’ alive (i.e. in the midst of fog-dom that is being a mummy) that I looked for any opportunity to spend time out of the house and without the kids as some sort of golden rainbow of pleasantness and magic – a rarity to be treasured.
But…since getting back from my USA jaunt (not that I didn’t enjoy being nappy-free for that entire time) I couldn’t be less that way inclined.
You see, for BOTH of the weekends since my return I have been flown to Sydney for some corporate improv work – excellent, yes, especially given that I’ve been trying to break into the company for over a year now – but honestly, all I can think of while I’m away is how much I want to be with my kids. The homesickness is worse than when I was abroad!
I actually cried the other day when I dropped them off to day-care. Yes. I’m pathetic.
BUT…I’m taking action.
I’ve made the very painful decision to quit some freelance work (which was very important to both me and the organisation involved) AS WELL AS the decision to cut the kids’ day-care days down by a day. Cos you know what? While I’m so excited that career stuff is finally taking a turn for the better (touch wood) I’m suddenly so conscious of how quickly all this kid stuff is over. And I don’t want to look back and think that I missed it cos I was too busy trying to get my own life on track.
What do you know? As easy as the pros make it seem, apparently this juggling thing is harder than it looks.
Damn you Cirque de Soleil. Damn you.