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Somebody kill me please

  • Writer: Jenny Wynter
    Jenny Wynter
  • Mar 13, 2006
  • 1 min read

I’m drowning. I’m not kidding. I’m like that chick out of The Abyss, hyper-ventilating, eyes wide open and even prepared to kiss the frozen glass helmet housing my previously estranged spouse, in a frantic attempt to distract myself from my pending drown-dom.

Except it’s not water. It’s washing baby. A fortnight of rain, and check out my laundry…


I must know, does anybody out there actually even USE the ‘low’ setting on their washing machine? I’ll tell you how often I’ve used it: NEVER. Not even once. The one and only setting I EVER use is ‘maxi’. And even then I can’t keep up.

I can’t even imagine when, why or how anyone on this planet would ever have reason to use the ‘low’ setting. In fact, I don’t think ‘low’ even works. I think it’s a marketing ploy to make us feel all empowered, like we’ve got all these options, when the truth is the manufacturer knows damn well that nobody will ever use it to check.

Hmmph. I’ve got it all sussed. Knowledge may be power, but it doesn’t fix my nightmare.

Yes, I’m drowning. And there’s not even a smidge of oxygen-deprived ecstasy in sight.

*gulp*

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I acknowledge the Gubbi Gubbi, Wakka Wakka and Butchulla peoples, the First Nation Traditional Owners of Country, and custodians of the land and waters on which I live and work, and all the peoples who have welcomed me on Country. I pay respects to all Elders past and present and acknowledge the young leaders who are working beside Elders in our cultural industries in the continuation of cultural, spiritual and educational practices. I recognise all First Nation peoples as the original storytellers of these lands and acknowledge the important role they continue to play in our community.

Jenny Wynter

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