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  • Writer's pictureJenny Wynter

“I misshhed you mummy.”

That’s what my little Cay-dude said to me tonight as I stroked his hair, waiting for him (impatiently, I’m ashamed to admit) to fall asleep.

I’d only been away a couple of hours, but his words still managed to make me squirm.

“Oh,” I said. “I missed you too.”

And then I felt sick. Cos I finally let it descend on me – the truth that in just over a month, I’ll be heading off overseas for the second time without my kids. And how horrible that feels.

I didn’t write much about it in my American blogs last year, cos quite frankly I was having a hard enough time just getting on with the trip that I didn’t want to stir it up more by writing about it.

But right here, right now I feel like I just need to acknowledge the simple truth: that being on the other side of the globe from my kids felt WRONG. I hated it. I bawled daily (sometimes multiple times, leading to a paranoia that my wonderful mentor Daena would think all Australians were hyper-emotional train-wrecks) and hated that too. But then finally, about halfway through the trip (that halfway point where you’re actually moving towards home), I forced myself to snap out of it and not waste the amazingness of the opportunity by being seduced by sadness.

So I did end up having an absolutely rocking time in the States, there’s no doubt about it and I certainly don’t regret it. It’s just that it was definitely flavoured with a shocking depth of missing my kids, so now I can’t help but approach the first portion of our new life in Canada – in which i will be flying solo in Calgary, training at the awesome Loose Moose for two weeks – with excitement tainted with dread.

On the upside, Caleb is talking much better (and longer) these days, so our phone conversations might be better.

*reflecting on last time)

Me: “Caleb! Hello! What have you been doing?” Him: “BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRR!!! MAMA!!!”

I guess the only way is up…

*imagining this time*

Me: “Caleb! Hello! What have you been doing?” Him: “Oh mummy deareth, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…”

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Blogging again!

Hey ho! Nowadays you can find me blogging again over here. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Website is updated! FINALLY!

These days you can find me over at www.jennywynter.com If you feel inclined to relight my fire.

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