Hormones, hormones and losing touch
This is my beloved Frankie with the little angel of newborn goodness that is completely sending me nutty with hormonal desire. (And as a side-note, how the hell can anybody look this good hours after childbirth without a Vanity Fair team on the case? Time out, Frankie. Time out.)
Seriously, when I was holding dear little Charlotte the other day there was a split second where I was just like “YEP. That’s it. I’m having another one. End of conversation.”
Not that it was really a conversation with anybody other than myself, but you get the point. Thankfully I’m a really good debater and within minutes had delivered (to myself) an absolutely killer rebuttal, thus talking myself out of my absolute certainty that I should breed immediately.
The puter is still holding on, but barely. Thank you for your flowers, donations and notes of support. We have been overwhelmed. Truly.
But in the spirit of looking on the bright side, here are…
The Best 5 Things About Not Having Internet Access On Tap 1. I am writing (by writing I mean actual stuff I might get paid for plus comedy material) TONS
2. I have at least four hours extra in the evenings with which to attack whatever household task I choose. Last night I actually sorted out three completely separate and unrelated piles of clutter that have been the bane of my existence for over twelve months. Productivity – give me a ‘P’!
3. The only pop ups I have to deal with are filled with juice
4. I am actually on top of my laundry pile (not literally cos that would just be gross, and what am I? Revolting?) for the first time EVER. Unfortunately Ella has decided to seize this same week to explore the wonders of bed-wetting. It’s like “you sucker mama, you think you can handle the washing? Well handle THIS!!!!” (insert-sound-of-urinating-on-bedsheet-here) One night she was even in our bed when it happened. This alone is soooo enough of a reason to stay married: can you imagine trying to explain to your one-night-stand why his leg is wet and stinky?
5. I’m being forced to break boundaries with my artistry through time-capped blog entries. This forces me to write stuff like pathetic ‘top 5’ lists. Wow. Talk about living on the edge. Is it just me or is anyone else reading this getting Vertigo?
So there, every crap computer has a silver keyboard.
Oh dear…*contemplating last sentence*…on second thought, maybe my lack of cyber-life of late is just making me lose touch.