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Communication Problems

  • Writer: Jenny Wynter
    Jenny Wynter
  • Sep 27, 2006
  • 1 min read

Here’s the thing: I can hardly understand a thing my son says.

Oh sure, we end up working it out – via a flurried combo of flailing arm gestures, Ella taking on translator-duties and Caleb taking on all-out tantrums – but sometimes just the fact that I haven’t a clue what he’s on about makes me feel like the only right I have to the ‘mother’ badge is to use it to pin my forehead with a ‘LOSER’ sign.

For instance:

Caleb: “Muuuma wooot doin waahflaches.”

Me: “What am I what?”

Caleb: “Wooot doin waahflaches.”

Me: “Uh….”

Cue me nodding enthusiastically.

Me: “Yeah! That’s right!”

Cue Caleb catching onto my evil deception – manifested in a choreographed sequence of stomping feet that would probably score him a part in Riverdance, should he ever feel inclined to apply.

Caleb: “NOOOO!!!!”

Me: “What?”

Caleb: (yelling) “WOOOOT DOO-IN WAAAAAAHHHh-FLAKES.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re saying.”

Cue more screaming, etc etc etc until a moment of distraction is discovered and seized.

For instance:

Me: “Hmm, I’m not sure about that, but check out this awesome PLASTIC SPOON!”

Caleb: “Yay!”

A beat.

Caleb: “Muuuma wooot doin waahflaches pas-tika pooon?”

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I acknowledge the Gubbi Gubbi, Wakka Wakka and Butchulla peoples, the First Nation Traditional Owners of Country, and custodians of the land and waters on which I live and work, and all the peoples who have welcomed me on Country. I pay respects to all Elders past and present and acknowledge the young leaders who are working beside Elders in our cultural industries in the continuation of cultural, spiritual and educational practices. I recognise all First Nation peoples as the original storytellers of these lands and acknowledge the important role they continue to play in our community.

Jenny Wynter

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