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  • Writer's pictureJenny Wynter

A happy closing credits sequence…if you cut it early enough

Warning: complete and utter sickly sweetness ahead. Proceed with caution.

We all need happy endings sometimes. Well, I guess I can only speak for myself, but I’ve certainly been craving one lately. You see, Ella and I have been struggling with each other recently, a lot. I’ve basically surmised that two strong-willed, over-the-top and super-stubborn ladies of the house = Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.

But last night, we finally reached the happy closing credit sequence of our day.

Ella: “Can you please pat me to sleep, Mummy?”

Me: “Sure.”

Ella: “I just can’t get to sleep by myself.”

Me: “Yes you can, you just have to believe you can. You can do anything if you believe you can.”

Ella: “Really?”

Me: “Really. It’s all about believing. You made me believe again. Cos you’re the best thing that ever happened in my entire life, better than anything. Because you’re the best chick in the whole world and I’m so so lucky because I’m the one who gets to be your mummy.”

*Note: I realise this conversation is infringeing upon Oprah territory, but do bear with me, it gets better. Not less schmaltzy, but better.

Ella: “Oh.”

She looked at me for a full minute, stroked a hand through my hair and then said to me the most beautiful thing I think I’ve ever heard:

Ella: “I want to say all the same things that you just said to me, but make them about you.” Be still my beating womb.

It’s so nice to think that Hallmark moments like this actually can exist.

It’s not so nice to realise that you can inadvertently destroy those Hallmark moments in the flutter of an eyelid.

Note to y’all: don’t ever, EVER try to seize your newfound mother/daughter intimacy as an opportunity to delve into deeper issues (i.e. talk about why your daughter has been acting up lately). It really kills the whole ‘I love you and you’re so awesome’ atmosphere and replaces it with a ‘I now feel insecure and wish I was being patted to sleep with a steaming dog turd instead of you’ one.

With just one question: “Do you want to talk about why you’ve been talking meanly?” I somehow took our conversation from the highs of a telemovie of the week, to the lows of…well, a telemovie of the week. What followed was an hour of Ella bawling her eyes out, then proclaiming that she wasn’t upset because she thought she was in trouble, but was upset because she missed little Simon, her newborn cousin.

Mamma Mia.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why they never show you what happens just after the closing credits. Just so you know.

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