When it comes to weight and body image, I constantly flit between “If I’m gonna be in showbiz, I’ve gotta be slim!” and “Bugger it. Look at Adele!”
The thing is, I don’t want to be somebody who’s constantly unhappy with their body. I don’t want my daughter to grow up seeing me criticise myself for not being in the shape I think I ‘should be.’ I don’t want to wish my life away dreaming of the alternative ‘me’ that exists out there in some realm that I could reach if only I wasn’t so lazy and undisciplined.
But…there’s a fine line between that mindset (all of which I still stand by) and justifying a descent into chronic unhealthiness.
Early this week I noticed on facebook that one of my Adelaide cabaret chums had accepted a bet on Dietbet. Intrigued, I followed the link. Basically the deal is you chip in some $$ into a prizepool, each of you committing to lose 4% of your body weight in 28 days. ANYBODY who does so wins a share of the pot. Meaning of course, that if all of you in the bet achieve your goal, you get your money back. If only one person does, they score 100% of the winnings. And so on. Being my insanely competitive self, I decided to give it a whirl, but in a pretty half-hearted “oh well, this could be interesting!” kinda way. It was only when I did my official weigh-in that my mind boggled at how far I’d let things slide. It wasn’t just the number on the scale (though of course, that was the major thing staring me in my shocked little face). As I stared at that number, I sadly thought about my body and just how CRAP I feel on any given day. Tired. ALL THE TIME. Achy. ALL THE TIME. In pain ALL THE TIME (though in fairness, that is injury-related). As I stepped off that scale, my motivation finally kicked in. It’s now or never. GAME ON.
I truly cannot believe it can be true, but perhaps my body is just adjusting to this new plan of attack in a massive way? I stepped on the scales this morning – I think 5 days after I started – and I have already lost 3kg. Truly. I’m questioning if my scales are broken. (My hubby checked and swears they’re not). I’m so thrilled…SOMETHING’S WORKING.
There are a ton of amazingly healthy people in the world to be in awe of, but honestly, the one who’s inspiring me the most right now? Pink.
As a performer, seeing how her physical form translates into her being able to give 110% of herself to her audience (talk about your body being your instrument!) and really allowing her to totally fulfil her potential onstage…I don’t think anything has inspired me so much to get in shape EVER as this.
I’m also a long-term follower of Sarah Wilson’s blog (note below one of my major tactics in this quest is to cut out sugar, in no short way inspired by Sarah’s indepth explorations of the topic), and am in real life, inspired by my friend (and fellow Betty) Kate Mackie who lost a ton of weight (I think it’s well over 40kg?) through Michelle Bridges’ challenge. AMAZING. I need to know it is possible!
Cut out sugar. Replace with stevia. I’ve also been told rice malt syrup is awesome, haven’t been able to find it at my usual shopping haunt but will hunt it down and give it a go!
Cut out wheat (which is recommended for my thyroid condition anyway).
Replace softdrinks with mineral water with lemon and mint.
Stretch as often as I think of it.
Drink water as often as I think of it.
Focus on protein and veges at each and every meal.
Eat often (snacking obviously on healthy alternatives, celery and cottage cheese is my go-to right now).
Any more complicated and I give up.
Knowing my WHY:
I’ve realised how important it is to sustain any motivation whatsoever, that I am clear on the WHY of this undertaking. Why bother? Why make the effort? Why get healthy?
I’ve really been mulling this over and over in my mind these past few days and I think I’ve got it down to this:
I want to fulfil my potential as a performer, as a mother, as a human being. I want to wear whatever I want onstage and off, I want to be able to have the energy, stamina and flexibility to do what I want onstage and off, I want to make this engine run at its full capacity.
Since my car crash I’ve had to come to terms with pain and its presence in my everyday life, as well as the limitations that are now just part of my body. BUT…that doesn’t mean I can’t still make the most of what I’ve got. I’m still walking, I’m still standing, I’m still here, damn it. And to do all the crazy shizz I’ve got in mind in this lifetime I really need to have at my disposal a clean and firing-on-all-cylinders body.
So yes. Unexpectedly – but excitedly – I shall be henceforth blogging this new journey as part of our regular CM updates. To help keep me accountable and hopefully sharing some lessons learned along the way if nothing else!
If you’ve got any inspiration, tips or advice, please feel free to hurl it towards me, I am one of those people who LOVES reading umpteen health magazines (and usually expecting to feel fitter by osmosis) but point is, I really dig the motivation that comes from hearing other people’s thoughts.