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  • Writer's pictureJenny Wynter

I never thought it would come to this

My greatest love affair is about to end.

And all because of a damn fundraising drive for my kids’ day-care centre.

DAMN YOU CHOCOLATE!


I don’t know why I agreed to taking the damn things in the first place. It’s a heavy carton of 14 chocolate boxes, and bugger me if I’m going to cart them around with me in the car and try to offload them to every friend I visit. Why, oh why, am I not more assertive? Alas, alack, I think I’m just one of those people who cannot say n…. ehem, who cannot say n…. damn it!

So instead I am forced, FORCED, I tell you, to eat all the damn things myself. The Maltesers were first to go, then the M&Ms, and now I’m almost done with the celebration-size Mars Bars. Which makes me feel so much better, knowing that I can successfully ingest a kilo of chocolate 25g at a time, thereby cancelling out the calories.

And now of course, the unthinkable has happened…I’m over chocolate. It’s finished. I’m done.

Just last night, I sat it down.

‘Listen. We need to talk. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve just…I’ve changed. I just don’t think this is working anymore. I need space.’

‘And to be honest you make me kinda sick.’

I think it took it rather well. Sure, we had a last-minute break-up rendezvous, just for old-time’s sake, but never again. How could I go back?

The choice is clear – give it up now or else be found years from now spread-eagled, obese and with chocolate marks around my cherry lips. And no, that’s not a look that’s huge in Milan.

“Here lies Jenny. She lived, she laughed, she ate. Piggy wiggedy wig wig.”

It’s so over.

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Blogging again!

Hey ho! Nowadays you can find me blogging again over here. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Website is updated! FINALLY!

These days you can find me over at www.jennywynter.com If you feel inclined to relight my fire.

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